Me, God, and Snow White’s Evil Stepmother

Sometimes, God sends you into a worship service, and you walk out having learned a lesson that no one speaking or singing ever taught. It’s just a little ‘aha’ moment between you and God.

I had one of those tonight. Actually, it started two weeks ago when I woke up one morning after a strange dream and decided to re-write the story of Snow White. I spent two hours writing a whole chapter about the Evil Queen.

The Queen was a tall, powerful, blonde woman who intimidated everyone she saw. She used her beauty and cunning for selfish gain and climbed so high up the social ladder that she found herself marrying the King (ever’body holla ‘Gold Digga!’). On her wedding day, the King sends in an enchanted mirror (duh) with a note telling her why he loves her. The Queen (I named her Matilda, because she’s just that kind of woman) discovers that although she puts up a strong and unmoving front, the King sees past it. In addition to her outer beauty, the King admires Matilda for her capacity to love. Although she doesn’t show it often, he sees that she is slowly allowing herself to love him, and he sees those glimpses of selflessness as beautiful. He marries her with the hope that in time, she’ll love him with all her heart.

She does, but then he dies, and then she becomes evil because the darkness of the moment makes her turn into herself and blah, blah, blah. She torments her stepdaughter and feeds her dangerous fruit and the like. From there the story belongs to Snow White and the handsome prince and the dwarves, and it’ll be just great. Then, when I have time to write the end of the story, the Queen sees how far from beautiful she really is and she either kills herself, disappears, or turns good (the ending is still up for debate). The point is, her capacity to love is what the King knew was her true beauty, and it was the only thing to tear down her walls of pride and treachery.

This whole thing just popped into my head one morning. After hours of typing, all I could ask was, ‘Why did I just write this?’

Now I know.

Less than a week ago, my prayer to God was that I would learn to fall deeper in love with him. He blessed me very shortly afterward with showing to me how he’s given me beautiful, abundant life. That experience carried me through my week to our youth group service, when I worshipped God through songs, with my refreshed love, in a way I had not done in a long time. I understood the words and sang (poor people around me) with all my heart as God captured my attention. I raised my hands like a first grader who really needs a hall pass and used that moment to praise my Father, King, God, and Savior with total abandon. I hardly even noticed the strobe lights and the laser show. All I knew, in those moments, was that we have a God who lifts us up and never leaves us thirsty, never leaves us searching. All I knew was that our God is holy and blameless, and men and angles sing his praises all day and all night.

All I knew was that, in that moment, I loved him so much. I never knew I had this…

…. Capacity to love.

   Two weeks ago, I woke up and wrote about a young woman who was selfish and prideful and used herself to gain riches and glory. I wrote about a young woman who, despite her shortcomings, found herself marrying a King, who saw who she could be and took her and made her wonderful.

Was it any coincidence that I decided she was blonde? No way.

God used that crazy typing session two weeks ago to show me tonight that I am just a prideful, selfish bride with an incredible capacity to love. And he took me anyways, with the hope that, in time, I would fall in love with him enough to truly give myself over to him. Does this sound anything like Hosea and Gomer? (Or Michael Hosea and Angel, for those who’ve read Redeeming Love. Everyone should.)

So I began to think about being Christ’s bride, the Matilda to the King of Kings. I prayed to God to help me let down my pride, and allow me to love him—not just sometimes, in little flickers and glimpses, but with my whole life. I prayed to not let myself ever let the dark seasons in life make me turn away my heart from love. I prayed to love and to cherish him, to obey and honor him, for rich or for poorer, sickness and in health. And by then, I decided to go home, get warm, and write my wedding vows to my First Love:

I, Hallie, take You, God, to by my Savior, Holy God, Father, and Lover of My Soul.

I take you to have and to hold, starting today and continuing for the rest of my days.

I will love you whether you give me much or give me little, whether I am happy or sad,

Whether I am sick or well; I promise to cherish you for the Perfect Love you are.

I will glorify and worship you with all that I am.

I will return your faithfulness with faithfulness, and give up all other lovers to pursue you.

I will honor you with reverence and obedience, and I will go wherever because you are with me.

I will trust you in all that you do. You are now my God, from this day forward.

I vow to love you until Forever, when we shall finally be face to face.

Please take a moment—no, take two.  Take the first moment to pray for me, that I will remain true to my vows. Take another moment to think about yourself. Once upon a time, all of us were selfish, prideful people who found ourselves proposed to by a King. By The King. Did you accept? And if you did, do you love him, or just what he has to offer? God wants to give us the beauty of selfless, abandoned love. He has given us the capacity to love him with every moment of our lives, until we reach heaven and we ‘see face to face…and know fully, even as [we]are fully known’ (1 Corinthians 13:12). So are we going to love him?

Spend some time with God today and read 1 Corinthians 13. Write down your vows to God–if you haven’t already–and pray that you can begin, from this day forward, to love with the patient, kind, selfless love he shows to us. Please, don’t be late to your wedding with the King of Kings. I only hope I make it there in time.

Life Abundantly

  “I’ve come that you may have life, and have it abundantly.”

—John 10:10

 

     I’ve always loved those two words, ‘life abundantly.’ They make me think of a beautiful garden in bloom, with flowers of green, blue, and yellow surrounding little stepping stones–it reminds me of a fairy garden. And to me, life abundantly has also always meant a life that’s full of events.

    But sometimes, we have to face a mundane life and trust that we’re still living under God’s promise of abundance. These times are when the news we tell when catching up with old friends is old news, when there’s no excitement on the horizon and life is filled with small, daily tasks. There’s no missions trips or vacations, no new relationships or holidays, no new toys or new movies or new episodes of your favorite show on Netflix. They may be just weeks that take too long to live through. They become the times when you’ve waited so long for something to happen that you’re questioning if something is ever going to happen. And, if you’re like me, you begin to not want to be you anymore. Honestly, you’re just trying to find a fast forward button, even if you die trying.

    Since I’m a dreamer who loves new things but hates the work of seeking them out, I have a tendency to feel this way a lot. I’ll sit down on my bed after brushing my teeth, I’ll throw all my school books on the floor, and then I’ll begin to be romantic. I’ll hug my pillow, stare dreamily at the wall, and wish that, tomorrow, something exciting will happen. When I wish for too long, I’ll ask God why my life is so mundane, if he’s promised me this amazing life with him. It’s like i’m a middle-aged woman who realizes how her marriage is no longer a thrilling honeymoon. Why is my life so simple if it was promised to be rich. I was guaranteed the premium package, not the economy deal.

    But recently, my rantings about life abundantly have turned into me and God talking about life. 

    Sometimes, we’re so caught up with the fact that our lives are so NOT amazing that we forget that we’re alive. But it’s not like that’s something to be taken for granted. God is always the one who keeps us alive.

   This week I’ve been able to see a taste of what happens when someone who doesn’t know Christ hugs their pillow and stares dreamily at the wall. I’ve learned what it can feel like to believe that this life is all we have, and so far it’s not given us anything of value. I heard the stories of people who were tired of living their lives anymore.

    When people who don’t know Christ hug their pillow and ask why their life is so empty, there is no all-knowing friend to answer them. When they begin to wonder if there’s anything in their future worth being there for, there’s no one to promise them that there is. When they whisper to their pillows what the mundane tasks of today are for, there’s no one to whisper in reply, ‘You’re doing it for me.’ 

   When they ask what there is to do next, they’re left to decide for themselves.

   Some don’t decide wisely.

” For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”

     —-Matthew 7:13

 

   Today I finally saw the value of Christ in my life. I saw how the fact that I was still alive was a sign of living abundantly.

    Because when I ask what I should do next, my Wonderful Counselor tells me to rest in him and listen.

   When I whisper to my pillow, wondering what today’s mundane tasks are for, the Holy Spirit whispers back, ‘You’re doing them for me.’ 

  When I worry that there’s nothing left in my future worth being around for, my Comforter gives me the peace of presence and assures me that there is. 

   When I hug my pillow and wonder why my life is so empty, God is there to tell me that it’s full! Just in that moment of living, he has blessed me with rest, direction, purpose, and peace, and hope. And when I finally am content enough to lay my head down and sleep, he gives me the greatest gift of all.

Life.

   When I hug my pillow and stare at the wall, I do not end the night by taking the road to destruction. I am there to welcome tomorrow, full of God’s promises.

 

  Listen to the next part of what Jesus says about the road to destruction:

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

    —-Matthew 7:14

 

But when we find it, we find it Abundantly.

   

Intentionality

This year I made one resolution: to actually write things in the blog I made last year. Considering I believe that all goals labeled ‘resolutions’ to be given up by Valentine’s day, I’m really praying and crossing my fingers (even though the former is the only one that will do any good) that I’ll stick with this blog longer than that.

Although I didn’t make any more ‘resolutions,’ I did do some planning to help me focus more this year. A good friend of mine–acutally, several good friends of mine–come up with one word that represents the attitude they’ll have that year. Other people I know pick one verse to memorize that is the anthem or motto of their year. I ended up doing both, without even knowing it.

My word is INTENTIONALITY, and my verse is 1 Corinthians 10:31. It’s a well-known verse but it rings true just the same. And it’s no less important just because we hear it all the time–it’s God’s verse, for pete’s sakes! (I have to tell myself this every time someone asks me to read John 3:16 for the six billionth time.) The word ‘intentionality’ came to me because that’s what I was lacking in just about everything by the end of 2012. I was just sliding along, doing whatever made me happy–which isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, by the way. If what makes you happy isn’t what God wants, you’ll just look back at it and the Holy Spirit will reveal to you that you just wasted a lot of time on things you can’t even remember. Don’t let the Holy Spirit tell you that you wasted the last half of your year–it sucks.

Anyways, since my friend and I decided to write out our plans for the new year, I thought I’d share mine with whoever reads this blog. If you want, feel totally free to copy me. This stuff I wrote down totally came to me by God, and I thank him for it.

(God, thank you for your direction for 2013. I’d be SO lost without you!)

Intentionality [Noun]

A mindset expressive of intention and purpose.

This year I aim to look to God to help me bring intentionality to my whole life, focusing on the purpose he’s made for me—to be a vessel of his Love and Glory in everything which I partake.

In my relationship with Christ, my first and most important duty:

I will continue to grow closer to him by reading his word and talking with him—not just to him but with him. I will focus on consistency and humility, and let the Spirit intervene when I try to live by my own rules. I will ask God to teach me what it means to love him with all my heart.

 

In my ministry, my outpouring of Love and Glory to those whom God has called me:

I will pray and speak to those I know who do not have a relationship with Christ. I will practice the boldness and courage God promises to give me if only I ask. I will look to my Maker to find where he is calling me to serve him, and I will remember to go without hesitation.

 

In my health, which is the respect of the Temple God has allowed me to have:

I will glorify God by building my body to my fullest potential. I will lay a foundation of healthy nutrition and practice self-control with the good things that are bad for me. I will discipline myself to stay consistent with all areas of fitness, but I will learn to preserve my body from future pain or injury as best as I can. I will remember that my body is a Temple for my soul, and that the outside is not what’s important. I will keep my body both healthy and pure, no matter what temptations come my way.

In School, my occupation of this preparing season:

I will focus more intently on the school-related tasks at hand, learning to manage my time and make personal sacrifices to pursue my education. I will get serious about preparing and searching for my future college, and I will pray and research until God directs me toward my future career.

 

In my family, who I am to love long before I am to love the family I’ll build:

I will do my best to create an atmosphere of encouragement and love in our home. I will not be critical of how each family member does their job, but I will focus displaying gratitude for all that they do. I will be a helper in the home, relieving the stress of others when I have peace to spare. I will continue to build a stronger relationship with each member of my family, so that when we all go our own ways we will still be there for each other in our hearts.

In my relationships, which are God’s special gift to me:

I will ask God to teach me what it means to really love people. I will practice giving my time to those who need it, and to care for my friends even when it costs me something. I will work on keeping up with others’ lives even when I only want to care about mine. I will give everyone the chance that God has given me, but I will also speak the truth in love when God asks me to minister to a friend who needs direction. I will approach people with an attitude of friendliness, humility, and hospitality, no matter the personal costs. I will learn to love those I love the most, and also those I love the least.

In my talents, which are instruments for God’s glory:

I will pray for opportunities to use my talents for God’s work, and I will develop them until he shows me those opportunities. However, I will not let the pleasure of using those talents distract me from more important tasks of the moment, because getting distracted will diminish my ministry. I will search for other talents I have not discovered, and I will learn to never take credit for things I’m gifted at for myself. They are simply a reflection of God’s infinity and one amazing talents, placed inside of me.

In my relationships with boys, which will help me prepare for my future love life:

I WILL REMEMBER THAT I’M NOT READY FOR ROMANCE! I will keep this a minor area of my life, no matter the greatness of the temptation to ‘have a boy.’ I will focus on creating healthy friendships with boys, remembering to be friendly and sure of myself. I will also remember to cut guys some slack, since they are just as imperfect as I am. I will love them as friends and nothing more until later.

“So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the Glory of God.”

–1 Corinthians 10:31